Anywho, I was on the bus reading my issue of FIRST KISS ZINE!!!!! (best thing ever!!! more on it later. for now all you need to know is that its a zine about first kisses.SO CUTE!) anyways, all these stories are so cute...so cute that i felt inspired to make this post and embarrass myself forever but it doesnt matter because i dont live in florida anymore and whatever
....i guess it will when this kid googles his name and finds this post and reports me and my blog gets shut down and i die.
Elisabeth Donnelly and Carlen Altman's stories made me do this:
MY FIRST REAL CRUSH: Marc Cullinen (yeah i had to write his whole name, i was going to say Marc C. but i loved the last name so much that i have to include it.)
So i had this DISGUSTING, long lasting crush on a boy i think i met in 6th grade when i had a unibrow and a cheap hair straightener and braces and i looked like a mouse. getting nauseous just thinking about it. thanks mom.
His name was Marc Cullinen. UGH total fucking dreamboat. His favorite band was NoFx. he was tall had a brown/red hair with a funny bowl cut that i guess i really digged at the time. He would talk about NoFx all day everyday and about how hes a bad ass and smokes weed. i dont think i knew what weed was until like 9th grade. One time he told the class about how "dood, my sister got a noise violation ticket this morning for blasting NoFx, fuck cops man. fuck them" i died. Miss G. dismissed his comment. i thought, wow tots a bad ass. i want to listen to NoFx in a car with u. he was a sk8r boy too i think, that might have given him an extra 20234 points.
I stared at the back of Marc's head all year, i'd secretly get sad inside when the teacher moved him for talking, id fear every time she threatened to re assign seats. I DIDNT WANT TO LOSE MY MAN! sometimes he'd pass papers back and do that thing kids do at school when they pass papers back to joke around with the other, like pretend they are passing it and then pull away. Anyways. he did that, i don't think i laughed because i didnt even know what to do with myself. I thought. WOW HES JOKING WITH ME AHHH HWAHT DO I DO? DO I LAUGH? HOW DO I LAUGH?WAHT IF I LAUGH TOO HARD? WAHT IF MISS.G YELLS AT ME FOR LAUGHING WITH THE BAD BOY IN CLASS? WHAT IF I HAVE FOOD IN MY BRACES? WHAT IF MY STOMACH GROWLS!? ahhhhh. my thought process hasn't changed much since.
i think once he asked me if i liked NoFx and i jsut said "mmmhmm" and looked down. all these missed convo opportunities made me just want to smash my head against a wall repeatedly.
I think Marc left during 8th grade or something or the second part?, he was kinda dumb and failed a year or something. I think my bff isabella and I used to draw pictures of him and some other boys we liked during class and pass them to each other. Sucks cause i started to get pretty again in 8th grade. I had a better straightener, no braces, and low rise pants. Maybe Marc and I could have been bf and gf.
A couple years later at some surfer kids party in 9th or 10th grade i saw marc. I dont think he recognized me, i tried to hide for as long as i could. I just imagined him saying something like "wow you changed" or something embarrassing like that.
life was so hard, still is.
WELL none of that really matters to you because its not a first kiss story. i waited much longer for that. I just wanted to give you the background before i show you a picture of him.
IS THE PICTURE
MAYBE MARC WILL COMMENT
OR REPORT ME FOR BEING A CREEP (if you are reading this, please don't!!! please!!!)
AND POSTING THIS
BUT IM DOING IT FOR YOU
yeah, thats him and his girl...From my lurking i think he lives in Georgia. its okay, one day he will lose all his adult man weight and he will look like a 13 year old boy again. Then i will kiss him and get my dream first kiss out of my head forever!!!yayyyyy. I swear he used to look like leonardo diCaprio
Though it was an embarrassing time and i spent wayyyyy too much time thinking about this kid, it was still a beautiful experience. Crushes rule.<3
WHO WAS YOUR #1 CRUSH? SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE PLEASE!!!